The latest of the awkward, silly and fun

One day, the kids were cranky on the walk home, so I tried distraction
Daddy: "let's play the rhyming game. I'll go first. Tree"
Robin: "bee!"
Daddy: "good stuff! How about house?"
Robin: "Couse!"
Daddy: "that's fun and it rhymes, but it's not a real word."
Olivia: "I want to do one!"
Daddy: "sure. How about…"
Olivia: "duck!"
Robin: "fuck!"
Daddy: "what?"
Robin: "fuck!"
Daddy: "?!?!"
Robin: "what does fuck mean?"
Daddy: "uhhhh... it's a bad word, we don't use it"
Robin: "what does it mean?"
Daddy: "it's a bad word, a swear word... just don't use it. Especially not at school. How about cat?"
Robin: "bat!"
Daddy: "good one!" *phew*

Olivia on walking home: "my legs are too tired! They're like Terry Fox." Also on that walk, Robin had to pee really bad. So she went on a tree. That has nothing to do with Terry Fox. However, I am devising an incentive plan for her to (for God's sake) pee at school.

Sydney can sign at 8 months for drink, more and up. At 8 months Syd cut a tooth. Starting to crawl at almost 9 months. Robin lost one and then another bottom tooth.

Olivia asked what a drug was when hearing the word on TV.
Daddy: "well, it's something that affects your body. Some are good and some are bad".
Olivia "what's a bad drug?"
Daddy, stumbling in my thoughts "well, cocaine is bad, and heroin is bad. They make you 'high' but they will also make you sick."
Thankfully, she didn't ask what high was.
Olivia "what's a good drug?"
Daddy "cancer drugs are good because they fight cancer".
She left it at that. Since we were going on a long trip, we gave Gravol to Olivia to help her car sickness. After taking it she said "can I have some more of that drink?"
Daddy "no Olivia, you only have so much or else you would get sick. Gravol is a drug."
Olivia "I LOVE that drug!" 

She later passed out in the car with the barf bucket in her lap. Yes, we have a barf bucket.

We took the kids on a trip to the Narcesse snake dens.

Olivia added milk to her chili, which made it tasty enough for her to eat. I don't understand it, but I'm going to accept it.

Olivia on her birthday: "it's my birthday, so no one's allowed to laugh!!!" 

Olivia on getting a remote controlled jeep for her birthday: "I don't like this present".
Olivia on realizing that a remote controlled jeep actually moves: "this is the best present EVER!!!"

Olivia got frozen for her 4th birthday and carried it around like a trophy.
Daddy: "can you leave Frozen in the car while we go to get Robin?"
Olivia: "no!" sadly and firmly.
Daddy: "I just don't want you to loose it"
Olivia "I'll hold onto it REAAAALLLLLY tightly!!"
I was outmatched, so we brought it into the school.

Kids make science club (I was pretty ecstatic):
Daddy: "what kind of a science club?"
Olivia: "doing like a learning one".
Daddy, fearing a giant mess: "No water for this, right?"
Olivia: "no"
I still haven't found the mess they made, but I'm sure it's somewhere and created in the name of science.

While playing in the room, Olivia said "I need to poop." When asked about it, she said it wasn't her. It must have been the "computer" toy she was playing with. After being told the computer toy doesn't say it has to poop, she still stuck to her story. After being told that's a fib, she started to cry and said "you made me cry! I'm going to leave this room."

Daddy in a text to Mommy:
"Robin made a puppet of you. Olivia came up with the idea to help it stand up. Very clever. Robin, uh, made it for me to keep me company when you aren't here. It's a poor replacement ;) then Olivia said it's for me when you die so, uh, don't die, because I don't see that puppet and I working out."

Daddy in another text to Mommy:
"Robin and Olivia had ONE RULE in the back yard: not to play in dog poop. I came out to walk to the mall with them and Robin was kneeling in a pile of shit and digging her hands through mud. Her snow suit is covered in shit. It took all I had not to swear my head off."
That was the beginning of the 'No One is Allowed in the Friggin Backyard Until All the Poop is Cleaned Up rule'.

Suddenly freezing in the house, I wondering if the furnace broke again. No, the kids left the friggin door open when they went outside. I guess it's true what my Dad always used to say: kids really DO try to "heat the neighbourhood".

April 14th: Olivia pointed out the word "fire" on a fire truck.
April 10th: Sydney moved around on the floor for the first time. She also signed more when eating strawberries, although she wouldn't do that for the camera. Sydney shakes when she poops. Her hands quiver. She puts in so much effort for such a tiny poo.

In Robin's class, kids are talking a lot about marriage. I asked Robin if she wanted a play date with Avery, a boy in her class. She said ok, then whispered something to Olivia. Olivia then said "I'm going to marry Rupert. He's going to be a funny dad!"

Our House:
Daddy slaving away assembling Ikea furniture. Ollie at play.
Daddy: “I need you to listen to your body and think about whether you need to pee.”
Ollie: “Yes. We're going camping for four months.”
Daddy: “Ollie, I need you to pay attention. Did you hear what I just said?”
Ollie: “Yes. I need my kids.”
Daddy: “What did I just say?”
Ollie: “I don't know, but YES.” Mommy: [Howls silently, tears streaming down face.]

Olivia is writing her name backwards. DaVinci?
One day I was not feeling well, so Robin decided to make dinner:
Course 1) lox salmon mixed with cooked egg yolks, garnished with tap water.
Course 2) corn, egg yolk, and lox salmon spiced with dill, celery salt, and cinnamon. This was then dunked in caramel yogurt.
The best part of all this was that Robin only set out three plates: one for me, one for Jen and one for Olivia. There was "not enough" for her, so she warmed up her favourite macaroni instead. I called her on that one, and made her eat some too. We had a good talk about ingredients that go well with each other after that.

Robin gave me a dinosaur eraser to put in my phone pocket, so that when I was at AJs I would remember to ask if she could come over some time. I thought that was pretty clever.

From Kristin (after they came to town for a visit):
Btw last night Robin and Olivia informed us that they're moving in with us in Thunder Bay and we're all going to make pie, amongst other things. Not sure what the timeline is on this.
From Kristin (the same visit):
Sooo, tonight Robin and Olivia wanted to play pretend that I was the queen and Dan was the king and they were princesses. And what do a king and queen do when they get home from ultimate? They "take a golden shower". Dan nearly lost his mind.

From Marc (a Dad in our babysitting coop):
The sit was no problem. Robin came down because she couldn’'t "get a witch out of her head". We read a book and she went back to bed.

Olivia joke: "Russia is where people rush."

Daddy, talking about Olivia's good manners: "that was nice of you to move out of the way when people were coming."
Olivia: "don't say that word!"
Daddy: "what word?"
Olivia: "THAT word!!"
Daddy: "I said lots of words. Which one?"
Olivia: "NICE!!"
To this I had no response.

Daddy: "do you remember what happens at 0C?"
Olivia: "no"
Daddy: "that's when water freezes!"
Olivia: "I KNOW that, but I don't like to go skating!"
Again, no response.

Me: "do you think Sydney is looking forward to eating people food?"
Ollie: "no, she's looking at me"
Badum ching

Ballet and Baseball

  This spring I signed the kids up for a ballet class at Pan Am through the city. They had been dying to do ballet for a while now and I finally signed them up. They didn't allow the parents into the class as it was being taught. We didn't know this on the first day, and so I assumed Olivia would balk at the idea of me NOT BEING IN THE CLASS with her. 

  On that first day I tried to meet Olivia half way: I'd go in for a few minutes, but when the class started she'd have to be there with Robin. Jen had previously had success leaving Olivia with a swim instructor that she REALLY liked, so I was cautiously optimistic. After watching for only a few minutes, I crept out of the room with Sydney. No cries of panic! It happened! Robin being in the room with her was a big factor in this, so I've got to give her credit.

  For the next couple of months, I'd take the girls to their ballet on thursday afternoons, drop them off in the class (after getting on their ballet gear in a panicked rush), then walk Sydney to sleep in the stroller. On those few occasions where Sydney actually did fall asleep and not just stare at me babbling, I was left with almost twenty whole minutes to myself! The amount of things I got done in that time was astounding! Actually, I usually fell asleep with my arm on the stroller, and was woken up as the two little ballerinas burst out of the class and down the hall to scold me for not waiting RIGHT BY THE DOOR.  How selfish of me to find some seats down the hall.

  For the last class they did a performance for anyone who wanted to come. Grandma and Ba'cha both attended, and I filmed the show. I was pretty impressed. Olivia told me about how they each stood on their own butterfly (hers was rainbow) and she even held another kid's hand for part of the act! Here is the footage, with a little bonus video in the end.

  During the evenings in the spring, Jen coached baseball for the kids at RA Steen on a team called the "lil' RAScals". Jen played and loved baseball growing up, so was pretty excited that they agreed to sign up. This involved Jen doing little drills with the kids, like fielding grounders and learning that you only hit the ball with the bat when it's your turn. It also involved Olivia sticking like glue to Jen's hip the entire season. And not wearing the jersey. Or the hat. Or wanting to be in the individual photo without Mommy being in it too. And not smiling for the picture. No smiling. Robin had a great time and she picked up a thing or two. She might not be super strong, but she's fast! She has Ba'cha's and Grandpa's running genes to work with.

  It was not lost on me that we were continuing the non-traditional family roles: Jen goes to work and went to baseball with the kids, I stay home and brought the kids to ballet. I think it's a good thing, so our daughters don't feel pigeon holed in life. There even seems to be evidence to back this up.

  We're lucky to have the time to do these things with our kids. I have to remember to tell myself this whenever Robin tells Olivia it's her turn to sit in that one (random) chair at the table and Olivia says no it's hers, and they fight and bicker about it until Robin finally bribes her for the chair with a piece of garbage off the floor and Olivia accepts it because it sparkles, and then two seconds later nobody wants the chair.