The latest of the awkward, silly and fun

One day, the kids were cranky on the walk home, so I tried distraction
Daddy: "let's play the rhyming game. I'll go first. Tree"
Robin: "bee!"
Daddy: "good stuff! How about house?"
Robin: "Couse!"
Daddy: "that's fun and it rhymes, but it's not a real word."
Olivia: "I want to do one!"
Daddy: "sure. How about…"
Olivia: "duck!"
Robin: "fuck!"
Daddy: "what?"
Robin: "fuck!"
Daddy: "?!?!"
Robin: "what does fuck mean?"
Daddy: "uhhhh... it's a bad word, we don't use it"
Robin: "what does it mean?"
Daddy: "it's a bad word, a swear word... just don't use it. Especially not at school. How about cat?"
Robin: "bat!"
Daddy: "good one!" *phew*

Olivia on walking home: "my legs are too tired! They're like Terry Fox." Also on that walk, Robin had to pee really bad. So she went on a tree. That has nothing to do with Terry Fox. However, I am devising an incentive plan for her to (for God's sake) pee at school.

Sydney can sign at 8 months for drink, more and up. At 8 months Syd cut a tooth. Starting to crawl at almost 9 months. Robin lost one and then another bottom tooth.

Olivia asked what a drug was when hearing the word on TV.
Daddy: "well, it's something that affects your body. Some are good and some are bad".
Olivia "what's a bad drug?"
Daddy, stumbling in my thoughts "well, cocaine is bad, and heroin is bad. They make you 'high' but they will also make you sick."
Thankfully, she didn't ask what high was.
Olivia "what's a good drug?"
Daddy "cancer drugs are good because they fight cancer".
She left it at that. Since we were going on a long trip, we gave Gravol to Olivia to help her car sickness. After taking it she said "can I have some more of that drink?"
Daddy "no Olivia, you only have so much or else you would get sick. Gravol is a drug."
Olivia "I LOVE that drug!" 

She later passed out in the car with the barf bucket in her lap. Yes, we have a barf bucket.

We took the kids on a trip to the Narcesse snake dens.

Olivia added milk to her chili, which made it tasty enough for her to eat. I don't understand it, but I'm going to accept it.

Olivia on her birthday: "it's my birthday, so no one's allowed to laugh!!!" 

Olivia on getting a remote controlled jeep for her birthday: "I don't like this present".
Olivia on realizing that a remote controlled jeep actually moves: "this is the best present EVER!!!"

Olivia got frozen for her 4th birthday and carried it around like a trophy.
Daddy: "can you leave Frozen in the car while we go to get Robin?"
Olivia: "no!" sadly and firmly.
Daddy: "I just don't want you to loose it"
Olivia "I'll hold onto it REAAAALLLLLY tightly!!"
I was outmatched, so we brought it into the school.

Kids make science club (I was pretty ecstatic):
Daddy: "what kind of a science club?"
Olivia: "doing like a learning one".
Daddy, fearing a giant mess: "No water for this, right?"
Olivia: "no"
I still haven't found the mess they made, but I'm sure it's somewhere and created in the name of science.

While playing in the room, Olivia said "I need to poop." When asked about it, she said it wasn't her. It must have been the "computer" toy she was playing with. After being told the computer toy doesn't say it has to poop, she still stuck to her story. After being told that's a fib, she started to cry and said "you made me cry! I'm going to leave this room."

Daddy in a text to Mommy:
"Robin made a puppet of you. Olivia came up with the idea to help it stand up. Very clever. Robin, uh, made it for me to keep me company when you aren't here. It's a poor replacement ;) then Olivia said it's for me when you die so, uh, don't die, because I don't see that puppet and I working out."

Daddy in another text to Mommy:
"Robin and Olivia had ONE RULE in the back yard: not to play in dog poop. I came out to walk to the mall with them and Robin was kneeling in a pile of shit and digging her hands through mud. Her snow suit is covered in shit. It took all I had not to swear my head off."
That was the beginning of the 'No One is Allowed in the Friggin Backyard Until All the Poop is Cleaned Up rule'.

Suddenly freezing in the house, I wondering if the furnace broke again. No, the kids left the friggin door open when they went outside. I guess it's true what my Dad always used to say: kids really DO try to "heat the neighbourhood".

April 14th: Olivia pointed out the word "fire" on a fire truck.
April 10th: Sydney moved around on the floor for the first time. She also signed more when eating strawberries, although she wouldn't do that for the camera. Sydney shakes when she poops. Her hands quiver. She puts in so much effort for such a tiny poo.

In Robin's class, kids are talking a lot about marriage. I asked Robin if she wanted a play date with Avery, a boy in her class. She said ok, then whispered something to Olivia. Olivia then said "I'm going to marry Rupert. He's going to be a funny dad!"

Our House:
Daddy slaving away assembling Ikea furniture. Ollie at play.
Daddy: “I need you to listen to your body and think about whether you need to pee.”
Ollie: “Yes. We're going camping for four months.”
Daddy: “Ollie, I need you to pay attention. Did you hear what I just said?”
Ollie: “Yes. I need my kids.”
Daddy: “What did I just say?”
Ollie: “I don't know, but YES.” Mommy: [Howls silently, tears streaming down face.]

Olivia is writing her name backwards. DaVinci?
One day I was not feeling well, so Robin decided to make dinner:
Course 1) lox salmon mixed with cooked egg yolks, garnished with tap water.
Course 2) corn, egg yolk, and lox salmon spiced with dill, celery salt, and cinnamon. This was then dunked in caramel yogurt.
The best part of all this was that Robin only set out three plates: one for me, one for Jen and one for Olivia. There was "not enough" for her, so she warmed up her favourite macaroni instead. I called her on that one, and made her eat some too. We had a good talk about ingredients that go well with each other after that.

Robin gave me a dinosaur eraser to put in my phone pocket, so that when I was at AJs I would remember to ask if she could come over some time. I thought that was pretty clever.

From Kristin (after they came to town for a visit):
Btw last night Robin and Olivia informed us that they're moving in with us in Thunder Bay and we're all going to make pie, amongst other things. Not sure what the timeline is on this.
From Kristin (the same visit):
Sooo, tonight Robin and Olivia wanted to play pretend that I was the queen and Dan was the king and they were princesses. And what do a king and queen do when they get home from ultimate? They "take a golden shower". Dan nearly lost his mind.

From Marc (a Dad in our babysitting coop):
The sit was no problem. Robin came down because she couldn’'t "get a witch out of her head". We read a book and she went back to bed.

Olivia joke: "Russia is where people rush."

Daddy, talking about Olivia's good manners: "that was nice of you to move out of the way when people were coming."
Olivia: "don't say that word!"
Daddy: "what word?"
Olivia: "THAT word!!"
Daddy: "I said lots of words. Which one?"
Olivia: "NICE!!"
To this I had no response.

Daddy: "do you remember what happens at 0C?"
Olivia: "no"
Daddy: "that's when water freezes!"
Olivia: "I KNOW that, but I don't like to go skating!"
Again, no response.

Me: "do you think Sydney is looking forward to eating people food?"
Ollie: "no, she's looking at me"
Badum ching